Before I started writing this list I thought it would be really difficult because most parents in novels are either dead, absent, the villain, kinda crummy or not present enough for me to get an accurate measure of them. And then I started going through my list of books and I realized that yes, that is correct. Alarmingly so. To the point where one might say if your parent(s) is alive and you have a good relationship with them, you can’t be the protagonist, the hero, the good guy, the receiver of an epic quest, or the driving force for anything exciting. In contrast, I could make a long list of books that would not exist if not for the dead/absent/villainous parents.
There’s a persistent and widespread trend to not have parents involved in stories, from kids books preferring orphans who go live with estranged/abysmal relatives, to adult books focusing on protagonists who survived being orphans and living with estranged/abysmal relatives (bonus points if they were in the foster system or raised themselves). This phenomenon deserves a deeper analysis, but it’s Mother’s Day, so let’s try and find some moms who are actually decent.
Marilla from the Anne of Green Gables series
I know, okay. She’s not technically Anne’s mom. But did I mention this list was hard to make?
Marilla didn’t exactly intend to be a mother; she and her brother wanted to adopt a boy to help on their farm and through a clerical mixup, got Anne instead. She decides to keep Anne—this is a perfect example of the plot not happening if the parents were alive—and because of this decision, she has to learn how to be a mother and help Anne navigate her new life. The two of them both make mistakes and have to apologize, forgive, and heal/blossom together and it’s really wholesome.
Mrs. Weasley from the Harry Potter series (my first HP review)
I’m calling it: the Weasleys are the unicorns of parents in novels. They are alive, together, decent, and on the page long enough to matter. And in a kid’s series no less! This is the height of parenting and ironically so, given that the Harry Potter series is also the poster child for orphans, absent parents, abysmal relatives, and parents who are just…not great.
But Mrs. Weasley is not only present, she’s so much of a mom, she welcomes, supports, and cares for Harry too. She looks out for her kids, keeps in touch, embarrasses them, chastises them, and perhaps goes overboard in some areas, but she’s always available and she will protect her kids with every ounce of her strength.
Something I didn’t notice as a kid is the whole Percy situation. His betrayal-ish-ness isn’t a focus in the story, but enough crumbs are given for the reader to know that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are cut up about it. They lose one kid but regain another; it’s heartbreaking and an unexpected but good element of the series. I appreciate that there’s stuff for returning, older readers to notice.
And that’s it. That’s the list. Those are the only two I would actually endorse as good moms. Obviously I haven’t read all the books (Little Women is missing for that reason) and maybe, in looking over my list of books, there are some good moms that I forgot were good, but if I don’t remember them, I’m gonna go with they weren’t very good.
I do have a few “honorable” mentions who by virtue of being alive, present and not scum of the earth, have found themselves on this list.
Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice (my review)
I know; you hate her. She’s annoying, overbearing, neurotic, you want to slap her, and duct tape her mouth shut. BUT. She is alive, present, and involved in her children’s lives. Therefore, she is heads, shoulders, and six feet above most parents. I can’t believe I made a list where Mrs. Bennet is considered a plus, but there it is.
The (living) mom in Northanger Abbey is probably good, but she’s almost a non-entity and doesn’t qualify.
Mrs. Thornton from North and South (my review)
Again, not stellar mom material. However, she raised her son the best she could and they still care for each other, so props for that. She’s rough around the edges and those edges are sharp and dangerous. Most people would not like her and I can understand that sentiment, but she has an iron core and she will use that to help her son and it’s nice to see such a bond.
Just ignore the fact that she doesn’t love her daughter as much.
Barbara Buncle from the Miss Buncle trilogy (my review)
Um. I don’t remember what kind of mom she is. Her mom-ship happens in the last book (I think? maybe), the books are cute, and I like Barbara, so that means she’s a good mom. Right?
Did I mention this list was really hard to make?
Sybil from the City Watch sub-series in the Discworld series
I don’t have enough knowledge of Sybil as a mom to confirm her worthiness as a mom, but here’s a quote from one of my reviews: “She’s an out-of-touch-with-the-real-world dragon breeder who can be a damsel in distress, useful, and flirtatious, all without overshadowing Vimes.” Great. I’m going with her.
I know Vimes is very invested in being a dad and his determination to read to his son at night is a plot point in one of the books. I really like Vimes and he’ll probably make my Best Dads list, which, if I thought this one was hard to make, I can’t wait to do that one.
Ma Joad from The Grapes of Wrath
It’s been seven years since I read this book, so I can’t give specifics, but she’s alive, a part of the story, not a terrible person, and Steinbeck wrote her. That’s enough for me to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Kanga from the Winnie-the-Pooh books
There’s probably not enough material for Kanga to comfortably make this list, but it’s not my fault I have to scrape the bottom of the barrel; it started nearly empty.
Mrs. Hughes from the Fullmetal Alchemist series
Novels have let me down, so I’m changing tack and going to manga. This series is 1) excellent and 2) another example of the story only happening because the mom died and the dad is unavailable. Most of the parents in this series are dead or absent or become dead, and that makes Mrs. Hughes the default option. She is a nice person though, and she makes great apple pie. And that’s where the bar rests for good moms.
I’m putting out a clarion call for good fictional moms. Please share in the comments if you or a loved one (maybe your own mom) have read a book with a mom who meets all of these criteria:
Alive
Decent
Important to the story
On good terms with her kid(s)
Not killed off to serve the plot
The Case of the Missing Moms is on. Spread the word, Watson!
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They are a rare breed! I can add to this list:
- Momma Beaumont from 'Savvy', by Ingrid Law...it brought me to tears with how sweet and caring the mother (and indeed whole family!) was.
- Mamsie in 'Five Little Peppers and How They Grew' by Margaret Sidney
- Homily Clock in 'The Borrowers' by Mary Norton...similar category to Mrs Bennet, not everyone would want Homily as their mom on account of her worrying and fretting over the littlest thing, but imo that's why she's relatable and realistic, and she absolutely cares about her daughter and does her best to make her happy.
- Mother in 'The Railway Children' by Edith Nesbit
She is there for some of them. Marge Simpson doesn't get enough credit sometimes...