Watching “Labyrinth” for the First Time

Back when fantasy movies didn't suck.

This movie (from 1986) completely missed me as a kid. I was raised on The Princess Bride, Muppet Treasure Island, The Three Musketeers (1993), and Dragonheart. It’s only been through the nostalgia revival of recent years that it’s come to my attention. I’m currently all about going back to older movies to find the good ones, so I popped in the dvd (public library coming to my aid, as usual) and went in with unsure expectations.

And it was an experience.

This girl, Sarah, is stuck watching her baby stepbrother (again! ugh! life!) and she wishes that he’d be taken away by the goblins. And lo! he gets taken away by the goblins, but she has instant seller’s remorse and goes on a quest through the labyrinth to retrieve her brother from the Goblin King.

What really saves this movie from going off the deep end, and what would make it un-makeable today, is the simple plot. And a lack of explaining anything in detail. Nothing is as it seems and much of it could be waved away with an “it’s magic, just go with it,” explanation and that’s fine. Nothing will make sense if you start looking for logical answers. So I’m not going to ask these questions (but why does Jareth have such useless minions?) and just look at it as a fantasy adventure.

Before I do though, can you imagine what garbage would result if this were remade today? The goblins would all be CGI and…everything would be CGI, wouldn’t it? Let’s hope that never happens.

Moving on…

Obviously this is a reimagining of Alice in Wonderland, but with an actual mission attached to it instead of the random encounters Alice has. Because George Lucas was an executive producer, I also saw hints of Indiana Jones and a little Star Wars too. And some King Arthur mythos thrown in for good measure. Plus there’s the eighties music and the puppets. All those things don’t seem like they could ever be put together, much less that they’d work. But they do. Mostly.

The thing I noticed the most is how creative this world is. The puppets maybe aren’t quite as good at moving as they are in later films, but they are much more unique than the Muppets. I’ve only watched it once, so I didn’t notice everything, but the amount of work that must’ve gone into making this is astounding. The Cleaners and garbage collectors have small scenes, but the production crew still went all out on making everything. One of my favorite things is the machine gun turret. (Another movie this reminds me of is Hellboy 2 and its underground market scene.) I really appreciate all the work and ingenuity that went into this because I know that that type of dedication to creation is, for now, a thing of the past. I suppose AI could put a Labyrinth skin over things, but that’s nothing compared to the real deal.

*Update* After I wrote that above part, I watched the behind-the-scenes. Oh my goodness. It was so much more complicated than I thought. It took five people to make Hoggle move: one person inside and the other four controlling his facial expressions with remotes. There was a guy kneeling behind David Bowie who did the hand movements with the glass orbs, all without being able to see what he was doing. And all the sets were real and 300 Helping Hands were made and painted by hand. It made me appreciate the film that much more. If you’re a fan of this movie and haven’t watched the making of, definitely go watch it.

The labyrinth is as bizarre and unexpected as something in Wonderland. I think the credits lists one thing as Nipper Sticks…they took me by surprise. I don’t know how they came about in-universe, but someone had fun tossing around ideas for weird weapons. I could’ve done without those psychedelic pink stringy dudes who were taking their heads off. There’s weird, and then there’s whatever that is.

Sarah is annoying at the start, but not for the whole thing. She learns to see the worth of family over material things, and that life isn’t fair, but it’s better if you have good friends. Not sure I would’ve picked Hoggle as a friend since he spent most of the movie trying to lead her astray just to save his own neck. And I wouldn’t have expected her to fall for the Goblin King’s promises, given the type of movie this is, but her turning away from those temptations is still a good move. I don’t know if that’s at all the lesson kids picked up from it; I think this is one of those movies where the meaning changes depending on your age when you watch it.

David Bowie as the Goblin King Jareth is one of the things people still talk about and it’s one of the few things I knew about going into this movie. I know young girls had a crush on him and I’m not that young so all I see is an impending matter for HR. Age gap aside, I think he did a good job as the trickster demon luring young girls to their doom. (Now that I say that, another inspiration for this story might’ve been the Greek myth about Hades and Persephone.) But as far as the songs go…I’ll admit that prior to watching this movie I could not have confidently named any song that Bowie’s known for. The 80’s and 70’s music scene is also something that missed me. I did go and listen to some of his greatest hits and recognized some of them, but I’m not a Bowie music fan. So yes, the songs here did not impress me and I suppose it might just be a case of puppets and music not finding their groove yet. Either that or 80’s music is very much not my style. Bowie is at his best in this movie when he’s not singing and that is my hot take.

Hoggle is shady. I know forgiveness is important and a good thing to be able to do, but Sarah is too trusting of his goodness. I think he’s a good character though and his fairy extermination program is a highlight. And I do wonder if his misremembered name of “Hogwart” inspired Rowling later.

Ludo is Chewie 2.0 and a solid sidekick as a result. The power to summon rocks seems pretty random, but why not have that power? It fits with his bonkers surroundings.

Didymus is my favorite character, which is totally on brand for me. Of course I’d like the Arthurian dog/fox thing the most. I love that the sound effects for his running dog is that of a horse.

I get why this movie hung around for so long, and continues to draw in new fans: it’s a classic fantasy story made with care and wild creativity, and a cast of memorable characters. Still could’ve done without some of the music, but that’s just me.

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