I Am Not the Main Character in Fictional Stories

And why anyone would want to be is a mystery to me.

In the aftermath of my Persuasion review, I rediscovered/realized something: I do not put myself in the place of the main character in a fictional story, but other people do. This might be the biggest divide between readers and I’m not sure most of them realize it.

So let’s take a look and you can let me know what kind of reader you are.

I don’t care what tense the story is written in or from whose perspective it is. It doesn’t even matter if it’s in second person. I WILL NOT insert myself into any character’s place.

There exists a wall between me and all fictional stories. I’m peeking through a window to watch events unfold. That is it. And if I don’t like or believe what I’m seeing, my thoughts (sometimes expressed in a review) will reflect that disappointment. I’m not going to patch over any holes with my own imagination or experiences. What I see is what I comment on and if the author didn’t do a good job building the story, I will have words. So no, I don’t like that Persuasion had zero backstory for the lovers. If I don’t see proof on the page, it didn’t happen and I’m not going to give a free pass because I can guess at what could’ve occurred.

With every book I choose, I’m giving the author the benefit of the doubt and it’s their job to impress me and completely reel me into the story. I am not a cheat sheet, a shortcut, or a repository of endless vanity which ensures I project myself into the story. The author does not get to use what’s already in my mind—aside from my understanding of vocabulary and grammar. They have to convince me that what they’ve written is good on its own merit. I will gladly be the audience, completely cut off from the actual pain and suffering of the characters, and hopefully I’ll look back on that story fondly. So if the main character is a boring klutz who, for no real reason, has attracted the attention of a hot, intelligent millionaire, I ain’t buying it. I should see a fully realized story because that is the job of a writer.

But some stories are so brilliantly written that it can feel like I’m being directly “touched.” Even so, I’m not the main character of the story. I have a very clear understanding of what’s fiction and what’s real. This might be why I never attached myself too closely to fandoms either. I will always only ever be an observer, no matter how immersed in the story I am.

This has led me to chuck books due to their poor characters; I’m not putting myself in to fill in the gaps, and it’s clear the author didn’t put in the work to make real characters. So yes, I’m still trying to find a romance author I like because so many of those female leads are empty and there’s no way I’m making up for that deficit. I know romance is partly wish-fulfillment, but my wish is for the characters to not be flimsy one-notes and that’s the majority of what I’ve found.

I’m gonna use a food analogy that might help the self-insert readers understand my position better. Imagine you go to a restaurant and order a chicken pot pie. Instead of receiving a golden crust stuffed with creamy sauce, chicken chunks and a nice collection of veggies, you get a gallon of milk, a live bird, and a bag of frozen peas. The waiter then tells you to go to the kitchen where you’ll find the crust ingredients and all the utensils you need. Are you happy with this arrangement? Is this what you were expecting? No! You wanted a damn pot pie, complete with cute vents in the crust’s lid. That’s me. I want the whole thing to be done when it gets to me. No exceptions. I came to the author’s restaurant and it’s their job, their baked-in goal, to feed me the whole meal. Authors get nothing from me but my time (and some money if I didn’t go to the public library), so they better make it a good time.

Reading fiction shouldn’t be a chore. It’s a time for me to disconnect from the real world and if I have to keep inserting coins to make the story move, what’s the point? I may as well write my own stories, and I have. Yeah, that’s work, but at least I’m getting the story I want out of it.

When I’m writing stories I will put myself in the position of the characters, but it’s only to better understand why they’re acting this way and to describe what it is they’re seeing. It’s like I’m standing right beside them and also have a direct link to their thoughts. But they are not me and I try not to make anything they do or say a reflection of my personality. I’m not an expert writer, but I want to put as much life into these fictional people as I can and that does mean I have to get very close to them. Still, the wall is up.

When I review books I judge what’s on the page, not what my imagination placed there—unless I saw an adaptation first, in which case I might see the actor. Nor do I use things from my personal life as filler for what’s not there. So most of the time, I’m not reading between the lines or making sweeping declarations about what the author intended, because I don’t know what was intended. And, frankly, I don’t think most fiction is worth a thorough dissection. It should withstand the probings of common sense and fulfill my longing for good storytelling, but I don’t care what deeper meaning Jane Austen might be making about society and gender roles. It could not matter less to me. I look at the broad picture of story, characters and overall writing style. If those are good, great. If it also has strong depictions of things like loyalty, friendship, justice, endurance, and brotherhood, that’s even better. If I do or do not pick up on a social commentary, that’s also fine (but I don’t like fiction that is all social commentary, all the time). Fiction, for me, is not about self-insertion or discussing societal manners; it’s escapism and entertainment and I can’t experience that if I have to put myself in the story or if modern issues are thrown in my face.

Side note: It should not surprise you that I find the current trend of seeing oneself represented on a screen as laughable. That is precisely what I don’t want, not least of all because no one’s going to accurately depict me. I’m tuning into a show to see Reacher bash people’s heads in, or O’Neill go through a stargate, or Poirot solve a murder. The tv is not a mirror, it is a window, and I want to see something good and unfamiliar.

I suspect this rampant self-insertion is what led to the rise of trigger warnings—people are getting too close to what’s happening. I don’t need any warnings because I’m of a mind that “middle grade,” “YA,” and “adult” are all that’s needed to signify what kinds of things I’m likely to encounter in a story. At least, that was before they started blurring what topics can be included in these age groups. But that’s maybe a discussion for another time.

What really gets me about this whole topic is the fact that I’m discussing it at all. Like, what do you mean you put yourself into/on top of the main character? Why would you do that? What even made you think you should do it in the first place? Please explain your side of things.

I’ve always thought the big point of stories is to see and hear things you wouldn’t normally see or hear, from characters that aren’t you or people you know. These events are happening to other people and that’s what makes it enjoyable. You’re not being chased by zombies, or shot at with lasers, or solving the murder of a friend, or suffering through every adversity while also having the fate of the world resting on your shoulders. Fiction, at its core, should tell a good story in the way only that author could tell it. If you’re constantly inserting yourself into the story, that’s extremely selfish and it dismantles what the author wrote. Accept a story for how it is; don’t make it into what you wish it was.

I am not the main character of any story I have ever read or watched, even the ones where I can somewhat relate to a character. It’s not me. I don’t want it to be me. And it will never be me.

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There was a movie I watched several years ago—We Love You, Sally Carmichael!—where the main guy wanted to be a serious author but couldn’t get published. Instead he started writing cheesy YA books under a pseudonym and hit it big. At one point he says he purposefully makes his protagonists devoid of personality so readers can insert themselves into the story. For one, it’s a funny movie and perfect for those who used to be avid YA readers. Secondly, it’s so sad that authors feel they have to do that so the audience can find enjoyment in a story.

What’s wrong with fully-realized characters? From a writer’s perspective, I have immense power to craft whatever kind of person I want, doing whatever would make sense for them to do. Why not take that opportunity? If anything, authors should make characters so distinct and commanding that readers can’t put themselves into a story and instead get to sit back in awe as these characters interact with their world.

That’s ultimately what I want in books: characters so strong and vivid you feel like a spellbound child sitting at their feet listening to them recount their adventures. Stories aren’t made to let anyone else take the reins; only the author should have control. Stories are about discovering something previously unheard of and infusing the reader with wonders created by a different mind. Authors, please put life into your characters. And readers, let someone else tell their story.

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Note: There are two caveats to the self-insertion thing: choose-your-own-adventure stories and first-person video games. I create a facsimile of myself who goes on these adventures. The wall is still firmly in place, but it is a “What would I do?” situation and any wins or losses are felt more keenly, I suppose. It’s still not my story. It’s a different way to experience fiction and that’s it.

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