I can remember talking about this with fellow writers, and we'd be laughing kind of wryly because we didn't really *intend* to always write orphans or half-orphans, but when we actually stopped to take stock and compare notes, they were everywhere. For most of us it was simply because of that instinctive sense that having only one parent or no parents gave a character more freedom to move about + added extra challenge/conflict to their lives (or more accurately, our stories!). It definitely wasn't a disdain for parents, quite the reverse in fact; more like following established fictional patterns. Fiction definitely needs more live, healthy, loving parents, but it seems to require a conscious effort to write them in more often.
I must share this humorous quote from one of my very favorite (and most unusual) indie book series, the Meriweather Chronicles by Meredith Allady: "I have noted, that in those novels where the heroine disposes of her heart indiscreetly, it is generally because the author has failed to provide her with an immediate family of even moderate goodwill—the only seeming alternatives to an early and tragic decease, being derangement or depravity. It is my belief, that the introduction of a handful of sensible relations would see the overthrow of three-quarters of the plots in existence." ~ FRIENDSHIP AND FOLLY
Haha! It does seem to be the automatic mindset for writers, but I think getting out of that rut can create some great alternatives.
That quote reminds me of The Phantom of the Opera, which would not have played out the same if Christine’s father was alive to notice the Phantom’s pull.
Oh, and I can think of some more entries to your lists of good parents in fiction—I'll leave them here since they mostly include both fathers and mothers:
- Mama's Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes
- Caddie Woodlawn and Family Grandstand by Carol Ryrie Brink
- Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter
- the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
- the aforementioned Merriweather Chronicles by Meredith Allady
- Old Yeller by Fred Gipson
- Gone-Away Lake and the Melendy Quartet by Elizabeth Enright
- most of the original American Girl books
The last few entries on the list are actually great examples of stories that let the child characters have plenty of independent or semi-independent adventures with parents somewhere nearby—perhaps historical settings lend themselves better to that in general?
My players create their own background stories. This is kind of interesting when I lay it out...
Adult Player: One set of parents the mother died tragically and the father raised their only girl and several brothers the best he could.
Child Player: Her mother was killed by a band of individuals looking for an important book her mother had been hiding. Her father raised her, and taught her the art of carpentry as she grew. Then nodded his approval when she set off into the world.
Adult Player: Mother was killed in an excursion and the father was absent due to being heavily involved in his work. The child was raised by their grandmother.
Teen Player: Absent parents very busy with work. She is a recluse that tries to keep out of the shadow of her parents.
Adult Player: Spoiled child who wishes she doesn't have to live with her parents.
The only author I know of who bucked this trend was Diana Wynne Jones. Her editors hated it and told her that she couldn't have smart adults/parents, especially not ones who participated in the plot. (See: Archer's Goon, Lives of Christopher Chant, Conrad's Fate, Pinhoe Egg, The Dark Lord of Derkholm, etc). She wrote it anyway because kids have parents. All different kinds of parents, it's true, and some are better than others, whether it's the deadbeat feminist writer mom in Conrad's Fate, or the dad who is the active player and driving conflict in Archer's Goon. But yeah, she's my role model here. :-)
Her editors hated it? Wow. That is really bad. I haven’t read any of her stuff (I did watch the Howl’s Moving Castle adaptation) but now I’ll have to. Thanks!
This made me think of the Hallmark TV series The Way Home. It's kind of the opposite of what you're talking about here. It's a time-travel story, and it focuses mostly on the teen daughter in the first season. But it gradually weaves in her mother and grandmother, and all the relationship dynamics are explored. The series wouldn't work at all if it was about an orphan since it's so focused on family ties. I'd love to see something like that in books. Obviously, it's not impossible to meld fantasy and family.
I know there are generation-spanning stories, but they mostly involve characters living too far apart for there to be interaction between them. But Gilmore Girls did it and I think people like seeing families work/not work together. We just need more of that in books.
I've tried to forgo the "dead parent" trope in my own stories, and yet I've never been able to write parents who are actually "good" or simply involved. Like you suggested, I have a complicated relationship with my parents.
I do love them, obviously, but in many ways I'll never feel completely safe around them. There are things I'll never be comfortable with them knowing about, and maybe this "parentless" trend is a reflection of that.
Interesting. That might be a good way to weave in drama: the kid is hiding something from the parent(s) and throughout the story the kid learns to trust them and they can work together by the end.
Parents are like guns, if the character had two good parents then nothing could happen so kids are always orphans and main characters always have an aversion to firearms. It would be okay if there was some basic awareness of this, that drama for entertainment purposes necessitates these conditions but like not understanding consciously that everything in life is 'buyer beware' and the government is not looking after anything, we skim over the fact all these stories need undue hardship to exist at all.
It's a bit like sexism, there was a lot of it on tv when I was growing up, 'oh no she has to be the woman doctor with the man's name blah blah' but as an adult I've watched movies from the fifties where single attractive professional females are quite free with their favours and no one thinks anything of it. Like in 'Rear Window'. There has to be drama and we seem to always forget that and next thing you know we're marching around wearing lady parts as hats.
Yeah, it’s a shame that a lot of authors can’t seem to escape the ruts of the same types of dramas. I’d love to see a fantasy adventure centered around a family working together to fight the bad guys. But that requires life experience and outside-the-box thinking that a lot of authors don’t have, or they don’t think it will sell.
In "The Draoidh's Cearcall," I've got children and parents. Flur's Mother is a queen who loves her. Rana's Mother, Ria, is very present in her life. Both women are widows. The Draoidh, Rhyslin, bonds with Flur and Ria, takes Rana into his house, and shows her love. I know it probably won't get many sales because it's a family type of fantasy romance. But, families are very important.
In my Lawkeepers Chronicles series, the MC is very family oriented and in the future will have children.
That was something I at least appreciated about the Hardy Boys Casefiles - Fenton Hardy had at least SOME influence on his sons, especially in the earlier books. One of the best ones I can remember that featured the boys AND their parents was casefile 37: Danger Zone (it says something that I remember the casefile number after all these years lol). It was also the only one that I remember showing their mother to have any spunk at all. But those earlier casefiles gave me enough of Fenton Hardy to make him as much a hero to me as his boys were.
I think that is what also drew me to Bonanza and Big Valley - seeing how the characters related to the strong father figure in the former and mother figure in the latter.
I never read the Hardy Boys but it’s nice that they had a good dad. I could probably count on one hand the number of middle grade books I read that had alive, involved parents. That can’t be a good thing for the kids reading these stories; they wouldn’t necessary be able to voice the issue, but it must be growing in their subconscious.
I saw a couple episodes of Bonanza and I do remember the boisterous, loving family. Then I look at modern American tv and the change is quite stark. Who knows when it’ll go back to more wholesome families.
Brilliant observation, and perhaps YOU can help turn the tide to include more good families! Yay! I seem to remember that Cheaper by the Dozen was a family story, but was that only a movie, or a book, too?
When I was in school, we were taught that the real or symbolic orphan-Ing of the protagonist was a common theme that was used to cut the protagonist off from his or her roots and put them into the unknown. A plot device to make the story possible. We were taught that it began with Huckleberry Finn, at least in the US.
“A plot device to make the story possible.” Dang. That lends credence to the likelihood that it was just another deliberate ruse to torpedo the traditional family. Like feminism, gay pride, trans sterilization, abortion, no-fault divorce, and compulsory institutionalized schooling.
That's a good way to push a character out into the world, but after a couple hundred years of worldwide fictional rootlessness, I'm ready for a change.
This is a very important insight. Maybe it's just too hard to create dialog issuing from the mouth of a wise parent. Maybe it's too much work to fashion a favorable, cheerful household. Maybe a constructive, interactive family is the real fiction? Well, I'm not gonna buy THAT. Keep it coming. There's more to discuss on this disturbing topic.
I understand what you are saying, but I think parents being active in a story removes the main character's reason to go on the journey, their agency, and their growth.
How active and involved do the parents need to be to resolve this issue? Are they traveling along? Are they in the thick of it?
In the standard Hero's Journey (which most YA fiction tends to follow as well as almost all Fantasy) active, loving, and involved parents would prevent the main character from venturing out thereby killing the entire story. Even the wise mentor is most often required to die in the Hero's Journey as part of the Hero's transition from childhood to adulthood. Including adults that take the wheel removes the Hero's agency to be the Hero.
I would be very interested to read any story that could actually pull off the Hero's Journey with active, loving, and involved parents.
But to add to your point, look at television families. Most family dynamics are not perfectly happy families unless we're talking about the Addams Family or the Munsters.
Why? Because there's no drama to those stories. Which is generally a requirement for a story.
We must all leave the nest and adventure out into the uncaring and unforgiving world. A story is usually about how we become the adults we are growing into. Otherwise, you're just a child with adult privileges, and mom and dad still make all the important decisions.
And I understand what you’re saying. However, the “standard Hero’s Journey” is, by now, way overused and boring. I’ve seen the orphan/abused kid go out into the world and save everyone a thousand times. Where is the variety?
Stories about growth are great, but death and orphanhood are not the only ways to kick start growth. So since we’ve had gobs of stories with bad or nonexistent home lives, it’d be nice if someone decided to not write what literally everyone else is writing.
For a slight twist, why can’t the mentor be a parent who trusts and respects their kid and then says, “Hey, I’ve taught you all I can, go forth and prosper. I’ll be here when you want to talk.” Or why isn’t the group of fantasy adventurers made up of parents/grandparents/siblings/cousins who band together to face the outside dangers? I think that’d be cool. A story’s drama does not have to originate at home. I think we can all agree that the outside world is capable of providing more than enough troubles for a compelling journey.
I’d appreciate something I haven’t read before and parents are the good and, dare I say, obvious starting point.
I would have to disagree with this. Giving the protagonist loving parents does not have to kill the drama and the story at all. for instance - instead of killing the parents, the kid is actually saving the parents. Or the entire family is in peril and therefore the whole family has to work together to survive - think Swiss Family Robinson. You put the entire family in peril and there won't be room to coddle the kids - everyone has to play a part.
And even in the story arcs that have "chosen one" main characters, if the kid is the "chosen one" and those parents knew that, it wouldn't be hard at all to conceive a story where those loving parents did everything they could to prepare their child to fulfill that role and then send them off if the time has come for them to fulfill their mission, especially if its a time constrained idea.
There are more reasons out there for heroes to exist than just revenge stories, which is what most of these orphan stories turn into. Give the hero loving parents and a loving home to defend against is another very good motivation for heroic deeds, and I frankly would like to see more stories of kids going on adventures because they love their families, not because they've lost them. Not to mention stories about parents who have strong marriages and are fighting to protect their families.
Well said. Did you see the tv series 1883? The daughter had adventure aplenty, but an integral part of that belonged to her caring and involved parents. Without them the story doesn't happen. If writers heeded your last paragraph a whole new world of original possibilities would open.
I can remember talking about this with fellow writers, and we'd be laughing kind of wryly because we didn't really *intend* to always write orphans or half-orphans, but when we actually stopped to take stock and compare notes, they were everywhere. For most of us it was simply because of that instinctive sense that having only one parent or no parents gave a character more freedom to move about + added extra challenge/conflict to their lives (or more accurately, our stories!). It definitely wasn't a disdain for parents, quite the reverse in fact; more like following established fictional patterns. Fiction definitely needs more live, healthy, loving parents, but it seems to require a conscious effort to write them in more often.
I must share this humorous quote from one of my very favorite (and most unusual) indie book series, the Meriweather Chronicles by Meredith Allady: "I have noted, that in those novels where the heroine disposes of her heart indiscreetly, it is generally because the author has failed to provide her with an immediate family of even moderate goodwill—the only seeming alternatives to an early and tragic decease, being derangement or depravity. It is my belief, that the introduction of a handful of sensible relations would see the overthrow of three-quarters of the plots in existence." ~ FRIENDSHIP AND FOLLY
Haha! It does seem to be the automatic mindset for writers, but I think getting out of that rut can create some great alternatives.
That quote reminds me of The Phantom of the Opera, which would not have played out the same if Christine’s father was alive to notice the Phantom’s pull.
Oh, and I can think of some more entries to your lists of good parents in fiction—I'll leave them here since they mostly include both fathers and mothers:
- Mama's Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes
- Caddie Woodlawn and Family Grandstand by Carol Ryrie Brink
- Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter
- the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
- the aforementioned Merriweather Chronicles by Meredith Allady
- Old Yeller by Fred Gipson
- Gone-Away Lake and the Melendy Quartet by Elizabeth Enright
- most of the original American Girl books
The last few entries on the list are actually great examples of stories that let the child characters have plenty of independent or semi-independent adventures with parents somewhere nearby—perhaps historical settings lend themselves better to that in general?
Thanks for the list! I hadn’t heard of most of those.
My players create their own background stories. This is kind of interesting when I lay it out...
Adult Player: One set of parents the mother died tragically and the father raised their only girl and several brothers the best he could.
Child Player: Her mother was killed by a band of individuals looking for an important book her mother had been hiding. Her father raised her, and taught her the art of carpentry as she grew. Then nodded his approval when she set off into the world.
Adult Player: Mother was killed in an excursion and the father was absent due to being heavily involved in his work. The child was raised by their grandmother.
Teen Player: Absent parents very busy with work. She is a recluse that tries to keep out of the shadow of her parents.
Adult Player: Spoiled child who wishes she doesn't have to live with her parents.
Interesting indeed. It seems like people just don’t want to bother too much with parents.
The only author I know of who bucked this trend was Diana Wynne Jones. Her editors hated it and told her that she couldn't have smart adults/parents, especially not ones who participated in the plot. (See: Archer's Goon, Lives of Christopher Chant, Conrad's Fate, Pinhoe Egg, The Dark Lord of Derkholm, etc). She wrote it anyway because kids have parents. All different kinds of parents, it's true, and some are better than others, whether it's the deadbeat feminist writer mom in Conrad's Fate, or the dad who is the active player and driving conflict in Archer's Goon. But yeah, she's my role model here. :-)
Her editors hated it? Wow. That is really bad. I haven’t read any of her stuff (I did watch the Howl’s Moving Castle adaptation) but now I’ll have to. Thanks!
This made me think of the Hallmark TV series The Way Home. It's kind of the opposite of what you're talking about here. It's a time-travel story, and it focuses mostly on the teen daughter in the first season. But it gradually weaves in her mother and grandmother, and all the relationship dynamics are explored. The series wouldn't work at all if it was about an orphan since it's so focused on family ties. I'd love to see something like that in books. Obviously, it's not impossible to meld fantasy and family.
I know there are generation-spanning stories, but they mostly involve characters living too far apart for there to be interaction between them. But Gilmore Girls did it and I think people like seeing families work/not work together. We just need more of that in books.
I've tried to forgo the "dead parent" trope in my own stories, and yet I've never been able to write parents who are actually "good" or simply involved. Like you suggested, I have a complicated relationship with my parents.
I do love them, obviously, but in many ways I'll never feel completely safe around them. There are things I'll never be comfortable with them knowing about, and maybe this "parentless" trend is a reflection of that.
Interesting. That might be a good way to weave in drama: the kid is hiding something from the parent(s) and throughout the story the kid learns to trust them and they can work together by the end.
Parents are like guns, if the character had two good parents then nothing could happen so kids are always orphans and main characters always have an aversion to firearms. It would be okay if there was some basic awareness of this, that drama for entertainment purposes necessitates these conditions but like not understanding consciously that everything in life is 'buyer beware' and the government is not looking after anything, we skim over the fact all these stories need undue hardship to exist at all.
It's a bit like sexism, there was a lot of it on tv when I was growing up, 'oh no she has to be the woman doctor with the man's name blah blah' but as an adult I've watched movies from the fifties where single attractive professional females are quite free with their favours and no one thinks anything of it. Like in 'Rear Window'. There has to be drama and we seem to always forget that and next thing you know we're marching around wearing lady parts as hats.
Yeah, it’s a shame that a lot of authors can’t seem to escape the ruts of the same types of dramas. I’d love to see a fantasy adventure centered around a family working together to fight the bad guys. But that requires life experience and outside-the-box thinking that a lot of authors don’t have, or they don’t think it will sell.
In "The Draoidh's Cearcall," I've got children and parents. Flur's Mother is a queen who loves her. Rana's Mother, Ria, is very present in her life. Both women are widows. The Draoidh, Rhyslin, bonds with Flur and Ria, takes Rana into his house, and shows her love. I know it probably won't get many sales because it's a family type of fantasy romance. But, families are very important.
In my Lawkeepers Chronicles series, the MC is very family oriented and in the future will have children.
I hope your book is successful!
I'll send you an EPub, if you'd like to read them?
All I ask is a review on Goodreads.
Thanks for the offer! But I’m swamped with other projects right now and won’t have time to devote to your work.
That was something I at least appreciated about the Hardy Boys Casefiles - Fenton Hardy had at least SOME influence on his sons, especially in the earlier books. One of the best ones I can remember that featured the boys AND their parents was casefile 37: Danger Zone (it says something that I remember the casefile number after all these years lol). It was also the only one that I remember showing their mother to have any spunk at all. But those earlier casefiles gave me enough of Fenton Hardy to make him as much a hero to me as his boys were.
I think that is what also drew me to Bonanza and Big Valley - seeing how the characters related to the strong father figure in the former and mother figure in the latter.
I never read the Hardy Boys but it’s nice that they had a good dad. I could probably count on one hand the number of middle grade books I read that had alive, involved parents. That can’t be a good thing for the kids reading these stories; they wouldn’t necessary be able to voice the issue, but it must be growing in their subconscious.
I saw a couple episodes of Bonanza and I do remember the boisterous, loving family. Then I look at modern American tv and the change is quite stark. Who knows when it’ll go back to more wholesome families.
Brilliant observation, and perhaps YOU can help turn the tide to include more good families! Yay! I seem to remember that Cheaper by the Dozen was a family story, but was that only a movie, or a book, too?
it was a book too! I know I saw a copy years ago!
I will definitely try to do my part in reversing the parent purge!
When I was in school, we were taught that the real or symbolic orphan-Ing of the protagonist was a common theme that was used to cut the protagonist off from his or her roots and put them into the unknown. A plot device to make the story possible. We were taught that it began with Huckleberry Finn, at least in the US.
“A plot device to make the story possible.” Dang. That lends credence to the likelihood that it was just another deliberate ruse to torpedo the traditional family. Like feminism, gay pride, trans sterilization, abortion, no-fault divorce, and compulsory institutionalized schooling.
That's a good way to push a character out into the world, but after a couple hundred years of worldwide fictional rootlessness, I'm ready for a change.
This is a very important insight. Maybe it's just too hard to create dialog issuing from the mouth of a wise parent. Maybe it's too much work to fashion a favorable, cheerful household. Maybe a constructive, interactive family is the real fiction? Well, I'm not gonna buy THAT. Keep it coming. There's more to discuss on this disturbing topic.
Kids and parents having an even-keeled relationship for the entire story is worryingly rare in fiction. And expect a part two to this discussion!
I understand what you are saying, but I think parents being active in a story removes the main character's reason to go on the journey, their agency, and their growth.
How active and involved do the parents need to be to resolve this issue? Are they traveling along? Are they in the thick of it?
In the standard Hero's Journey (which most YA fiction tends to follow as well as almost all Fantasy) active, loving, and involved parents would prevent the main character from venturing out thereby killing the entire story. Even the wise mentor is most often required to die in the Hero's Journey as part of the Hero's transition from childhood to adulthood. Including adults that take the wheel removes the Hero's agency to be the Hero.
I would be very interested to read any story that could actually pull off the Hero's Journey with active, loving, and involved parents.
But to add to your point, look at television families. Most family dynamics are not perfectly happy families unless we're talking about the Addams Family or the Munsters.
Why? Because there's no drama to those stories. Which is generally a requirement for a story.
We must all leave the nest and adventure out into the uncaring and unforgiving world. A story is usually about how we become the adults we are growing into. Otherwise, you're just a child with adult privileges, and mom and dad still make all the important decisions.
And I understand what you’re saying. However, the “standard Hero’s Journey” is, by now, way overused and boring. I’ve seen the orphan/abused kid go out into the world and save everyone a thousand times. Where is the variety?
Stories about growth are great, but death and orphanhood are not the only ways to kick start growth. So since we’ve had gobs of stories with bad or nonexistent home lives, it’d be nice if someone decided to not write what literally everyone else is writing.
For a slight twist, why can’t the mentor be a parent who trusts and respects their kid and then says, “Hey, I’ve taught you all I can, go forth and prosper. I’ll be here when you want to talk.” Or why isn’t the group of fantasy adventurers made up of parents/grandparents/siblings/cousins who band together to face the outside dangers? I think that’d be cool. A story’s drama does not have to originate at home. I think we can all agree that the outside world is capable of providing more than enough troubles for a compelling journey.
I’d appreciate something I haven’t read before and parents are the good and, dare I say, obvious starting point.
I would have to disagree with this. Giving the protagonist loving parents does not have to kill the drama and the story at all. for instance - instead of killing the parents, the kid is actually saving the parents. Or the entire family is in peril and therefore the whole family has to work together to survive - think Swiss Family Robinson. You put the entire family in peril and there won't be room to coddle the kids - everyone has to play a part.
And even in the story arcs that have "chosen one" main characters, if the kid is the "chosen one" and those parents knew that, it wouldn't be hard at all to conceive a story where those loving parents did everything they could to prepare their child to fulfill that role and then send them off if the time has come for them to fulfill their mission, especially if its a time constrained idea.
There are more reasons out there for heroes to exist than just revenge stories, which is what most of these orphan stories turn into. Give the hero loving parents and a loving home to defend against is another very good motivation for heroic deeds, and I frankly would like to see more stories of kids going on adventures because they love their families, not because they've lost them. Not to mention stories about parents who have strong marriages and are fighting to protect their families.
Well said. Did you see the tv series 1883? The daughter had adventure aplenty, but an integral part of that belonged to her caring and involved parents. Without them the story doesn't happen. If writers heeded your last paragraph a whole new world of original possibilities would open.